Zachary McLoud's Modus Operandi Website - Raw Cookie Dough Illness

Here's a play by play of the illness which will afflict you if you eat too much raw cookie dough. Note that it doesn't happen all at once, but instead takes a long period of time, with the symptoms getting increasingly worse until finally you collapse and die.

Your lips and the tender flesh surrounding them begin to tingle a bit, giving you quite a strange feeling. You rub your lips together in an effort to make it stop. Maybe they're just chapped.

Your muscles feel shaky and weak. Cold beads of perspiration break out along your forehead, and a faint chill passes over your body.

Squinting, you bow your head and slowly massage your temple, but it does little to alleviate the steadily increasing pain in your forehead. With each beat of your heart, the pounding seems to gain strength, the pulsing between your eyes seems to hurt even worse.

Your sour stomach rumbles uncomfortably, and you glance around quickly to see if anyone else heard. Trying to think with what feels like a freight train running through your head is difficult at best, but you wonder if it was possibly something you ate that is making you so miserable.

Your eyes blur as the once clear images around you swim out of focus. You find it's difficult to concentrate on any one thought, and you absently rub your hands together trying to remain in control.

Your mind was wandering, but is suddenly brought back to reality as you double over and fall to your knees in intense pain! Abdominal cramps *RIP* through your midsection, and it feels as if your intestines are swollen to ten times their normal size!

Your stomach gives a violent upheaval, and your throat constricts in defiance as you feel the gastric juices slowly making their way up your esophagus. Losing to the involuntary responses of your body, you retch horribly, your last meal landing in a repulsive *SPLAT* at your feet.

Your stomach is completely empty of nourishment, but your retching continues. The dry heaves hurt and leave a horrid taste in your mouth as you spit and sputter, your throat locking painfully.

Your body trembles violently, causing your teeth to chatter as spittle runs out of the side of your mouth. Sounds and the voices of those around seem so far away, echoing within your head as you close your eyes.

Your body has had all it can take. Cold sweats, numbing headaches, weakness, nausea and vomiting. You curl up on the ground in a fetal position, hoping for the pain to just go away. Within a few moments, you slip blissfully into unconsciousness.